


Norway's Craziest

by Humbae



Series: NC [1]
Category: Ylvis
Genre: AU: no wives no kids, Angst, Brotherly Love, Even more H/C, Fluff, Gen, Norges Herligste, Violence, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:42:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humbae/pseuds/Humbae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When interviewing Norway's most unique individuals, things can go horribly wrong.</p>
<p>Please heed the warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please take the warnings seriously if you're very sensitive or very young. There will be violence. It gets quite graphic.
> 
> But the dark H is followed by lots of C. And I promise there will be a happy ending. Eventually.

”It says we should turn left soon,” Bård said and pointed at their GPS. Vegard grunted in affirmation and started looking out for a fork in the road. It wasn't much past noon, but the day was rainy and dark, a typical late autumn's day in the North.

”I think you missed it already,” Bård commented. Vegard told him to shut up and just keep his eyes on the GPS.

The mood in the car was dreary at best, outright miserable at worst. They had originally planned to have a weekend off, but one of their interviewees had been ill and the schedule got shuffled around. Bård and Vegard didn't mind much, but the film crew all had families and they were quite unhappy after they had to stay away from their wives and children for two weeks straight.

Bård and Vegard had tried to keep the mood light and playful, but the anger emanating from the back seats had eventually made them somewhat irritable as well. This had turned them to snap at each other occasionally. Everyone was feeling quite bleak by the time Vegard finally pulled the car into a small road forking left from the main one they had been following.

The man they were going to meet was known for his unusual art. He collected mannequins and replaced their heads with living plants. He lived deep in the forest in a cabin with no electricity or running water. As they followed along the road, the only available illumination were the headlights of the van. Vegard was driving very slowly which only aggravated everyone's nerves, but they understood the need to be careful in an unfamiliar forest in the bleak light.

Vegard came very close to hitting the man's cabin regardless of his caution. Bård screamed high like a girl and Vegard hit the breaks. The nose of the van was mere inches from the cabin's wall. Everyone let out a relieved breath. They hadn't even met the man they were going to interview yet and they were already off to a bad start. Still, they were all professionals, so they simply took their gear out and exited the van. Bård and Vegard went to knock on the door while Knut, Ulf and Bjørn got into position with the boom microphone, camera and directorial notes, respectively.

The man who opened the door looked nothing like they had expected. The image of a hermit artist living alone in the middle of the forest was an elderly man with lots of facial hair and loose, patched clothing. This man was in his late thirties, bald, tall, muscular and had penetrating blue eyes. Bård and Vegard were completely unfazed though. They had met so many weird and unexpected people during the making of the show that one would have to be truly exceptional to ruffle their feathers.

“Is this Anders Trefall?” Bård asked while extending his arm for a handshake. The man nodded yes and the boys introduced themselves.

After the rather awkward start, the interview itself continued pleasantly enough. They had some trouble with the lack of light when they were filming Anders' artwork outside in the forest, but they would be able to edit the material later. Towards the end of the interview, Anders bade them wait for a while when he went to get coffee for his guests. Since he had no running water, he went outside to pull some up from his well. The team used that time to plan their route to the next interview. It wouldn't be until the following day, but they were somewhat unsure of how to get to it. Apparently the area was popular among hermits, since their next visit would also be someone living alone in the middle of nowhere, not horribly far from where they were. They had a hotel reserved for the night and Ulf had taken out a map to indicate the best route. Vegard was about to argue with him, but their host returned and the interview proceeded.

A couple of hours later, the interview was done and the crew was ready to leave. They said their goodbyes and piled into the van. Only, when Vegard tried to start the car, nothing happened. Not even a cough or a sputter came from the engine. Somewhat embarrassed, Vegard hurried to look under the bonnet, but he could see nothing wrong. Bjørn came to join him, since he liked to fiddle with cars, but neither could see anything out of place.

“I can't get any reception at all”, Vegard said. He had taken out his phone and held it in different positions. Every crew member dug out their phones, but no one could get a single bar.

“Well isn't this just the perfect end to a perfect day”, Knut muttered, but was hushed by everyone else as Anders came outside to see why his guests were lingering.

“I'm really sorry”, Bård started, flashing his most angelic smile. “Our van seems to have broken down and we can't call for help”.

Anders grunted in reply, looking unamused.

“We're really sorry”, Bård repeated. For a moment, nothing happened. Then Anders sighed deep.

“I guess you should come inside then”, he finally said. The temperature was above zero, but not by much.

“I can walk to the main road and see if I could stop a car and get a ride to the closest town”, Vegard suggested. Bård immediately offered to go with him, not really wanting to stay in the forest for however long it would take to arrange for alternative transport.

“No, no, I think you two should stay here and we should go to the main road”, Knut said with a somewhat evil grin. Ulf and Bjørn were quick to agree. Bård and Vegard wanted to argue, but they couldn't really say anything without offending their already unwilling host.

“Okay, that's settled then!” Bjørn said and clapped his hands together. “You two stay here, we will go to a town and send a tow truck. Have a good night!”

After that, there was nothing more to say. The camera crew left all the equipment in the locked van and started walking, their way illuminated by the emergency flashlights Vegard kept in the van (along with his emergency shovel, emergency first aid kit, emergency blanket, emergency axe, emergency reflector vest, emergency tyre, emergency snow chains, emergency sewing kit, emergency jacket, emergency pants and emergency shoes). _Just missing your emergency brain_ , Bård liked to tease him, along with a not-so-gentle smack to the back of his head.

The crew also made use of Vegard's emergency umbrellas, since the rain that had stopped while they filmed the mannequins had continued again. Bård and Vegard waited until they couldn't see the lights anymore and then they followed Anders inside to his cabin. The brothers felt a bit nervous, being alone with the intimidating man. Anders had been nothing but polite, but something about his manners and looks gave them cold shivers.

Inside the cabin, Anders asked if his guests would like something to eat and Vegard was quick to take the offer. Bård couldn't help but smile. The day his brother turned down food was the day he would start worrying about his health. Bård also said yes, but with less enthusiasm. Anders proceeded to dig out some canned goods and warm them over his fireplace. Vegard, ever the nerd, found something fascinating about the masonry of the fireplace and soon he and Anders were discussing the history of the chimney or something like that. Bård paid no attention to the conversation but looked around instead.

The cabin was not particularly large and it had very few furnishings. Bård suspected that Anders didn't live there during the winter. The main room had the fireplace, a sofa, a table and four chairs. There was another room, but no door to separate it from the main room. In the other room there was a bed and a closet. Bård also saw a closed door between the fireplace and the second room, but he could not guess where it led since he knew there was no toilet in the cabin. He had already made use of Anders' outhouse and had little desire to repeat the experience. Of course, after he thought about it, he realised that he needed to visit the small building again. Anders had made very good coffee and Bård had gladly drank several cups. Vegard had only pretended to drink his single cup and Bård had hidden his smiles, knowing how much his brother hated coffee.

“Excuse me, I must take a tinkle”, Bård declared and stood up. Vegard and Anders sort of glanced at his direction but Bård was convinced neither had any idea what he had just said. After all, who could be interested in where his brother or guest was going when they could be discussing the best interval between chimney sweepings. Bård rolled his eyes and stepped outside.

It had gotten quite cold. Although the sun had not been properly up all day, it had disappeared completely now and the cold had come. Bård hugged his arms tight around himself. He hadn't bothered to put his jacket on after leaving the cabin and he regretted it. He wondered how the film crew were doing. They all had been dressed for the weather, but still, who knew how long they had to wait for a car to drive past them and pick them up. Or the worst case scenario, they would have to walk all the way to the nearest town, however far that was. Bård shuddered and stepped into the outhouse. He finished his business, wished fervently for running water to wash his hands properly and returned to Anders' cabin. The bald man was sitting on the sofa, but...

“Where's Vegard?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and the kudos! I'm almost overwhelmed by the positive response, I did not expect it at all! I just hope the rest of the fic won't disappoint.

“Oh, he went there”, Anders said and pointed at the door that was now open. Bård could see stairs leading down. Had his dim-witted brother just randomly gone exploring the man's house? Bård felt like apologising, but some hunch told him to find Vegard first. He was torn for a moment. He wanted to dash to the door, grab Vegard and get out. It made absolutely no sense. The man had offered to let them stay in his house, was cooking them dinner and had given them no reason to be wary of him whatsoever. And still, Bård couldn't shake the bad feeling he had.

“Do you mind if I?” Bård said and nodded towards the open door. Anders gave him permission and Bård started descending the stairs. He didn't care if he appeared rude or strange, the need to find Vegard was getting overwhelming.

The area Bård entered was poorly lit and it took him a moment to see around. He was in an underground basement. There was a narrow and short hallway that led to nowhere, but it had a door open to it. Bård approached the open door. He peeked inside and jumped in fright. What he saw was a small room with two chairs in it. In one of the chairs was Vegard, tied and gagged.

Bård's first instinct was to run to his brother, but he heard a sound from the top of the stairs. Anders was standing there, holding something in his hands. Bård couldn't really see any details, since Anders was standing with the light behind him. For a moment, Bård had no idea what to do. Vegard was trying to yell something, but the gag made it impossible for Bård to make out what he was trying to tell him. Bård retreated into the room with Vegard. Judging from the increased volume, Vegard disagreed with him. Anders had descended the stairs and simply scoffed and slammed the door shut. Bård and Vegard were left in complete darkness.

For a moment, Bård's frantic breathing was the only sound to be heard. Then Vegard tried to talk around his gag again and Bård shook himself. This was no time to space out and panic. He quickly shuffled towards the sound in the dark until his hands encountered his brother. Bård felt the curls and followed them down to the duct tape that had been used to seal Vegard's mouth. Bård yanked it off with one quick movement, earning a yelp of pain from Vegard.

“What the hell are you doing!? I told you to run and you come here to be trapped! What the fuck, Bård?!” Vegard screeched and Bård felt like putting the tape back in its place.

“Well excuse me for wanting to save you, won't happen again!” Bård yelled back. He made no move to untie Vegard from the chair.

“Are you retarded? You could've at least tried to run away to get help or to incapacitate the man!”

“Shut up! He's twice my size, what fucking chance would I have?” Bård yelled and stepped back. He immediately came back to stand right beside Vegard though, since he felt so unsafe in the dark.

“How did he manage to capture you anyway?” Bård finally asked, no longer yelling.

“Well uhh, like you said, he's twice our size”, Vegard said haltingly and Bård could almost feel him blush. So the big army hero had been defeated just like Bård would've been.

“He didn't... hurt you, did he?” Bård asked.

“Nah, I'm fine”, Vegard said and Bård could hear he was lying. He didn't pursue it though. Probably just a bruised ego anyway.

“So are you going to untie me?” Vegard asked after Bård still hadn't gotten around to it on his own. Bård felt like slapping his forehead and started feeling around again. Bård first found Vegard's shoulder and followed it down. He felt Vegard's hands: they were icy cold. The duct tape was very tight and Bård had a lot of trouble getting it open with no light or tools. Eventually, he did manage to tear it off from around both wrists.

Bård moved his hands along Vegard's body to find his legs. He was somewhere along Vegard's left thigh and calf when he realised his hand was wet.

“Did you fucking wet yourself?” Bård asked, irrationally furious.

“No!” Vegard was quick to deny, but he offered no explanation. Then it suddenly clicked into place in Bård's head. Anders at the top of the stairs, it had been a knife in his hands.

“Vegard, what is all over my hands? Please tell me this isn't your blood.”

“I'm fine”, Vegard said and Bård sighed.

“Just tell me where”, Bård said, waiting for an answer before continuing with his task of freeing his brother.

“The side of the thigh there. Nowhere near the artery”, Vegard finally admitted. Bård kept his hands away from Vegard's left leg and followed the chair down instead. He found the duct tape and started tearing it off Vegard's ankles.

“Is that all?” Bård asked.

“Yeah”, Vegard replied, bending down to help with his other leg. Bård didn't know if he should press the issue. He knew Vegard never admitted if he was sick or hurt, but this was life and death, surely he would say if he had injuries in such a situation.

The brothers finally freed Vegard, but he made no move to stand up. Bård fumbled around in the dark until he found the second chair. He brought it next to Vegard and sat down. The cellar appeared to have no heating and it was cold. Bård was seeking body heat, not comfort as he scooted his chair right next to Vegard's.

“What the hell do we do?” Bård asked, feeling like a little child, turning to his big brother.

“We wait until he comes in, overpower him together and escape. Very simple”, Vegard said and Bård wanted to believe it would be that easy. Somehow, he doubted it would be.

“What if he won't come? What if he leaves us here alone for days without food or water and we just die?”

“Shut up. He obviously took us for a reason. Maybe he's seen too many American movies and wants ransom money”, Vegard said and both brothers smiled a bit. Until they realised it was entirely possible. They may not be big celebrities, but TV Norge was a wealthy corporation.

“If he wanted us dead, he would've just done it. There's no hatch on the door, so if he wants to give us water, he'll have to open it”, Vegard pointed out and Bård uselessly looked towards where he thought the door might be. The complete darkness was draining his spirit fast.

“But surely he must expect us to do something like that? I mean, he didn't look stupid.”

“We'll just have to be better”, Vegard said and gently patted Bård on the shoulder. Bård was shamefully glad for the touch. He also noted that Vegard's hands had warmed up to their usual temperature.

“So do we have an actual plan?”

“You just yell loud and flail your limbs about”, Vegard said and Bård protested.

“No, I mean seriously. You distract him up high and I'll grapple him down from low. I'll try to put him in a lock and you run out as fast as you can”, Vegard calmly explained. Bård felt shivers run up his spine.

“I'm not going to leave you!”

“Yes you are. The surprise attack is our only chance. One of us has to get away. Besides, have some faith in your big bro. I can defeat him in a fair fight.”

Bård very much doubted that. He could tell that Vegard was lying his ass off, trying to convince Bård to leave him and save his own skin. Bård had to admit that he could see the sense in it. If one of them got away, he could return with help. That didn't mean Bård liked the plan.

“It's a long way to the main road”, Bård pointed out.

“Six kilometres. You can run that in ten minutes when powered by adrenaline.”

“No you fucking can't. And he'll have plenty of time to kill you in ten minutes.”

“What choice do we have?” Vegard asked and Bård heard his facade finally start to crack. Vegard was just as scared as Bård was, only hiding it better. Which was rather ironic since Vegard was usually the emotional one who could keep nothing hidden. That made Bård put more effort into pulling himself together. No need to give up quite yet. They still had a hell of a lot of fight in them.

“Okay, if we can't defeat the guy outright, one of us will run into the main road and get help”, Bård summed up and felt somewhat better for having a plan.

“Too bad the phones have no reception here, we could just -” Bård started and suddenly there was the sound of a hand slapping a forehead.

“I'm fucking brain-dead!” Bård yelled and soon the cellar was filled with blueish light. Both brothers blinked in the sudden onslaught. Bård had had his phone in his pocket the whole time. He tried calling the emergency number but the phone simply refused to connect. Same when he tried to send a text message. Still, they had light. Vegard took the phone and started looking around the basement in its light, crouching to all the corners and standing on tiptoes to see the ceiling. Bård noted that he was limping a bit and moving somewhat stiffly. Another reason why Bård should be the one to run to get help when the time came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Chapter 3 is where the warnings kick in. I hope to be able to post it this weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: language, graphic violence.

Time passed. The brothers had no idea how much. At first they had kept glancing at the cellphone's clock, but after they did it every two minutes, they decided to save the battery. It was impossible to measure time in the complete darkness. All Bård knew was that he was tired and thirsty. And very cold. He and Vegard had abandoned all signs of machismo and pushed their chairs firmly together. They weren't quite sitting in each other's laps, but it was a close thing. Bård was sitting on Vegard's right, not wanting to accidentally press against the wound on his leg. They had used the duct tape to create a make-shift bandage for the cut. Bård had noticed how far along Vegard's leg the blood had flowed and forced him to stand still while he tore a piece off his own shirt and packed the wound with it.

Bård quite regretted having used a piece of his shirt almost immediately afterwards. He had tucked his shirt into his pants, but there was still a small gap where the cold managed to sneak under his clothes. He huddled closer to Vegard, trying to catch more body heat. Bård could feel Vegard shiver with the cold. He really wished Anders would come soon for whatever reason. Neither of them would be able to move with any semblance of swiftness soon. Not much of an ambush if they just fumbled about with cold-numbed limbs.

It was almost as if Bård's thoughts had summoned the man. They heard the door at the top of the stairs open and footsteps start descending slowly. Vegard got up faster than Bård thought possible for him and was next to the door in a flash. Bård followed, positioning himself in front of the door where he would be clearly visible but out of Anders' immediate reach. They listened to the footsteps get closer and tried to will their hearts to stop thumping so fast and so loud. Bård tried to control his breathing, but he was so nervous and scared it was impossible. Finally, they heard a key turn in the lock.

“Get away from the door!” Anders shouted without opening the door. Bård wanted to look at Vegard, but of course he couldn't see anything. He wanted to whisper and ask if they should alter the plan, but he didn't dare. He was wondering how the man could possibly know where they were when he shouted again.

“I have a shotgun and I will not hesitate to shoot whichever tries to do something!”

Vegard sneaked to where Bård was, grabbed his arm and pulled him into the corner where he would be best protected. Then Vegard returned to his position after whispering to Bård and telling him to stay absolutely still. Bård wanted to protest, but the door was opening. The sudden light had Bård close his eyes in pain. He heard the sounds of moving and then a deafening blast when the shotgun was fired.

“Vegard!” Bård yelled and forced his eyes open. For a moment he truly believed his brother had been shot, but a quick glance told him Vegard was unscathed. Anders was pointing the gun at Vegard, his second shot still available after shooting the first one into the empty room. Vegard had attacked Anders, but the man had been expecting it and managed to avoid the smaller man's attempts while still maintaining his grip on his gun. Anders' lip was bleeding though and he definitely seemed ruffled. Bård was afraid he'd shoot Vegard just out of spite, but instead he ordered both brothers to sit in the chairs. Vegard seemed to consider just attacking again, probably thinking he could dodge the point-blank shotgun shot, but then Anders pointed his weapon at Bård. Vegard immediately lifted his hands in the air and limped to the chair. Bård followed without saying a word.

“You!” Anders said and pointed at Bård with the shotgun. “Tie him up, and do it properly or I kill you both right now.” He tossed a roll of duct tape at Bård's feet. Bård clumsily bent to grab it and proceeded to tie Vegard to the chair. He tried to leave the tape somewhat loose, but Anders was watching and told him to do it properly. Bård's hands were shaking so badly he barely managed to complete the task. He distantly realised that he had been determined as the lesser threat and in some other situation that might have hurt his manly ego. As it was, he simply obeyed, noting that Vegard's leg was bleeding again, thickening the red line running down the side of his jeans.

“Now sit down! If you try something, I will break your hands and then shoot your brother.”

Bård obeyed without a word. Anders bent down to tape Bård's legs in place. He could've easily kicked the man in the head, but Bård couldn't move. He simply meekly sat there while his hands were tied as well. After Anders had fastened Bård to the chair, he went to Vegard and added tape to his upper arms and lower legs to make sure he couldn't move a single inch. Bård only had tape around his wrists and ankles.

“Comfortable?” Anders asked and laughed briskly.

“We're going to play my favourite game”, Anders said and the temperature in the room seemed to drop.

“The game is called _The Birch and the Spruce_. It's very simple. One of you will bend and one of you will break.” That was all Anders said for a long time. After he was sure both brothers were secured in the chairs, he left the room, leaving the door wide open. Vegard immediately started rocking his chair, trying to break it or move with it or something. Bård didn't really understand what he was hoping to accomplish. Anders returned, glared at Vegard and set up a lamp in the middle of the room. The lamp seemed to be running on batteries and it stood about a metre high. Anders turned it on and the bright light was blinding. Bård and Vegard blinked miserably while Anders disappeared again.

Bård's eyes had just adjusted to the light and he was looking at Vegard when Anders returned. Vegard looked pale but his eyes were blazing with determination and defiance. Bård was quite surprised since Vegard was usually rather easy-going and unassertive. He just hoped the new-found spunk wouldn't get them both killed.

Anders brought with him a small table with wheels under it. Bård watched in absolute horror. On the table, there were tools of all sorts, lying on a cloth, like you would see in a hospital's operation room. Bård felt a very strong need to vomit.

“First round”, Anders said and took something off the table. Bård couldn't quite see what from where he was sitting. Their chairs had been separated and there was a good two metres between the brothers.

Anders approached Vegard and Bård saw it was a screw-driver the man was holding. For a moment, Bård was almost relieved. Surely you couldn't do much damage with a screw-driver? Anders bent down on Vegard's left, hiding himself partially behind the smaller man. Bård couldn't see what Anders was doing, but he certainly heard the result. Vegard's scream seemed to echo endlessly in the empty space and Bård fervently wished he could block his ears. He closed his eyes for a moment, but the need to know drove him to open them again and to look at Vegard. He saw Anders pull the screw-driver out of Vegard's left leg. The sick bastard had torn off the duct tape bandage and inserted it into the knife-wound. Vegard screamed again, but then he went completely still. Bård felt a murderous rage wash over him. He yelled abuse at Anders with angry tears in his eyes. The man completely ignored him.

Anders slapped Vegard in the face a couple of times. Vegard opened his eyes and looked around. Bård wanted to go him, but obviously that was not an option. Anders had put the screw-driver back on the table. Then he approached Bård.

Bård looked in horror at what Anders was holding, but there was nothing. He bent down behind the chair and Bård thought for a moment he would faint from the fear alone. Then he felt Anders' warm hands take his right little finger and bend it back slightly. Bård felt pain, but it wasn't bad. He wondered what the man was doing and then there was a loud snap and Bård's world was filled with red-hot pain. He only distantly realised he was screaming.

“NOOOO!” Vegard yelled. “Leave him alone you fuck, stop that! Bård!”

Anders released Bård's hand and walked back to his table. Bård felt the pulsing agony wash over him. He tried to tell himself it was only a finger, pull yourself together man, just a finger! The pain was very real though and Bård couldn't suppress it with will-power. He concentrated on breathing and eventually he could get out of his own head again and face the world. The pain was still there, but it didn't engulf everything anymore.

“Second round”, Anders said and took a knife from the table. He walked over to Bård.

“No! Leave him alone!” Vegard shouted. Bård didn't dare say anything.

“Will you bend or break?” Anders asked Vegard.

“I don't know what that means.”

“Then I'm afraid I'll have to keep testing you.”

“I'll bend! I'll do anything, just leave him alone,” Vegard said with such desperation in his voice that Bård wanted to tell him everything was alright.

“Anything?” Anders asked, his voice almost a purr. Vegard nodded enthusiastically.

Anders walked from Bård to Vegard. He held the knife up in front of Vegard's face.

“This is the tool. Where is the sculpture?”

Bård could tell Vegard was hopelessly lost. What the man said made no sense whatsoever and even Bård would've been hard up to smooth-talk his way out of the situation. He wanted to help somehow, but he had no idea what to do.

“The sculpture? Uhh, I don't know”, Vegard stuttered and Anders sighed audibly.

“Is it your brother?”

“No!” Vegard was quick to shout. Bård saw the exact moment when Vegard's brain connected the dots. He felt like interrupting and stopping what was about to happen, but he remembered their plan. That was what Vegard must be working towards. Must be.

“I'm the sculpture! Carve me, as much as you want!” Vegard yelled in despair. Bård closed his eyes. There was no way to stop this now. He had let Vegard make the choice and he had to live with the consequences.

The second round didn't seem quite as violent as the first, quick one had been. Bård forced himself to watch every second of it. Anders was slowly cutting Vegard all over his body. The cuts didn't appear to be too deep and the man did avoid all arteries, but there were so many of them. Vegard was panting hard and grunting and moaning in pain when he couldn't hold it in any longer. Bård saw tiny beads of sweat gather on his brother's brow despite the chill of the cellar. This had to stop soon. Bård wasn't sure how much more Vegard could take.

Vegard's clothes were in tatters and there were spots of blood on almost every inch of him. Bård was sure this sick and twisted second round must be finished. However, Anders found another place to cut and he sliced his knife through Vegard's right arm, gliding along where his bicep met the elbow, going agonisingly slowly, watching the blood leak out of the long wound. Vegard squeezed his mouth tightly shut and seemed to be holding his breath. Bård was biting his lip, tasting blood. This could not be happening.

Anders put his left hand under Vegard's chin and tilted his head back. Vegard offered no resistance. Anders brought his right hand up, the one with the knife. Bård wanted to close his eyes so badly, to imagine that he was anywhere but there. But a moan from Vegard snapped Bård to attention. Anders had sliced his knife deep this time, cutting twice on Vegard's chest, right under his collar bones. Bård thought the shape might resemble an X under all the blood.

“I do like to leave a signature,” Anders said and winked. Bård felt ill.

Anders finally stepped away from Vegard and Bård felt like he could breathe again. Until he was reminded about the game. 

“First part of the second round finished”, Anders declared. Bård looked at the man in horror. He had a terrible hunch what the second part would be.

“Your choice”, Anders said and looked at Bård. “Will you bend or break?”

“I'll break”, Bård answered, hoping it was a test and by answering differently the results would also be different. Anders grinned like a cat that had just eaten a whole bucket of cream.

“Your choice”, he repeated and Bård tried to hide his confusion. Surely he had just made the decision.

“The same”, Anders said and lifted the bloody knife up. “Will you take it, or shall I continue with your brother?”

Bård felt horror wash over himself. He didn't want to experience what his brother had just gone through. But equally he couldn't make Vegard go through it again. Bård said nothing which seemed to annoy Anders.

“I told you to make a choice. You said you'll break, now do it!”

“I... I... “ Bård simply couldn't say anything. There was just no way out of the situation.

“Me”, Vegard gasped. Bård and Anders turned to look at him. Vegard was only held up by the duct tape around his arms, sweating and still panting. “Leave him alone, I'll take the second part.”

“It's not your turn to choose”, Anders said, sounding affronted that the brothers dared break the rules that were so clear to him.

“I'm sorry. Punish me,” Vegard said and Bård felt like screaming but nothing would come out of his mouth. He should be yelling for the man to cut him, leave Vegard alone, he had suffered enough, Bård could take the cutting. But Bård said nothing. His throat worked but the words simply would not form. Bård watched as Anders carefully went through each cut he had made earlier, slicing the knife through them again. This time Vegard had less control. He cried, he cursed, he howled and spat at Anders. Bård wanted to yell at him to stop, just take it meekly and stop putting up such a resistance. It was like all spirit had left Bård and transferred to Vegard. Somehow, utterly perversely, Anders seemed to enjoy Vegard's defiance.

*****

When the second round was finally over, Bård was shaking and crying silently. That had been his fault. He had caused the madman to cut his brother again. He had forced Vegard to take the punishment that had been intended for him. Bård was determined that he would take the third round that was undoubtedly coming.

“Intermission!” Anders declared gleefully. He seemed to be in a jolly mood. Bård watched helplessly as Anders turned off the lamp, left the room and locked the door behind him. The light was gone again. Bård tried to move his chair, but he couldn't get any closer to Vegard.

“Vegard!” Bård yelled. He had to wait for an answer for a moment.

“What?” Vegard didn't sound angry at Bård, only very tired and a little bit dazed.

“Are you alright?” Bård asked and realised what a moronic question it was.

“Stick to the plan. One of us must escape. It's not me.” Vegard sounded terrible. Like he was already halfway gone.

“We can escape together. Come on, don't give up!”

Bård waited for an answer, but there was none. He doubled his efforts with the chair and somehow managed to loosen his feet enough to be able to jiggle the chair a bit. It was slow going and Bård nearly tipped over completely a couple of times, but finally he was next to Vegard. He knew this since he bumped right into his brother, eliciting a faint groan.

“Vegard? Come on, Vegard!”

“...what?”

“Let me take the next round,” Bård said, trying to huddle closer to offer his body warmth. The room felt much colder after the lamp had been turned off. Bård was still fine heat-wise, but he felt Vegard shiver miserably. The brothers leaned as far together as their bonds would allow and all was silent for a while. Bård felt Vegard go completely limp against him. There was no way Vegard would be able to take any more torture.

Bård realised that that was exactly what the man was doing. He was torturing them. The idea felt so foreign to Bård. Almost ridiculous. They were in the middle of a forest in Norway, how could they possibly be undergoing torture? And yet they were. Bård felt tears threatening to fall again. He couldn't understand his own reactions. Vegard was the emotional one. He had cried at their aunt Gertrude's wedding, for fuck's sake! And here they were, Bård just shedding helpless tears and doing nothing to improve their situation. He didn't think he could possibly feel worse. Then Anders returned.

“Third round.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments!
> 
> Warnings: language, graphic violence.

Bård groaned aloud. He heard Anders scoff as he put the light on again. Bård immediately turned to his left to see Vegard. He couldn't really see his brother's face under the curls, but the lack of reaction from Vegard told Bård that he wasn't with them at all.

“I said, third round!” Anders growled and slapped Vegard. There was a feeble moan and nothing else. Anders slapped him again and Vegard slowly opened his eyes. Bård felt Vegard go rigid against his side. Then Anders roughly pulled Bård's chair away from Vegard, separating them again. This finally seemed to properly wake Vegard. He glared at Anders with such fury that even Bård felt uncomfortable.

Anders took a metal rod from the table. Bård recognised it as one of the rods Anders used to set up the flowers inside his mannequins. The rod wasn't very large, maybe half a centimetre in diameter. Still, Bård didn't want that thing anywhere near his body. But he knew this third round would have to be his. Vegard simply would not be able to take more. Their plan was doomed to fail anyway. Bård couldn't see any way that he could escape the basement. Might as well share the pain.

Anders stopped to stand between the brothers. He held the rod up.

“Who will bend, who will break?”

Bård remembered the rules and immediately shouted that he would bend. Anders smiled with glee.

“Now you have truly broken,” he said and approached Bård. “There is no bending when you're broken.”

Bård closed his eyes and waited. Anders was behind his chair. Bård barely dared breathe. He felt Anders' warm fingers gently caress his little finger. Bård suppressed the scream even such a light touch nearly elicited. He had been so worried about his brother that he had hardly registered that his finger was probably broken and might never heal properly. That was of course assuming that Bård ever escaped the horror.

“No bending,” Anders repeated and Bård truly hoped he wouldn't use that word when he was so close to the rest of his fingers. Bård's heart was thundering so hard in his ears that he almost didn't hear it when Anders moved to stand behind Vegard's chair. Bård turned his head. He just caught Vegard's face before he forced it into something vaguely neutral. He had been absolutely terrified and Bård couldn't blame him one bit.

“You will bend for me again, won't you?” Anders said and Vegard kept silent. This seemed to anger the man. He knelt down on Vegard's left and Bård felt frustrated tears threaten him yet again. There was no way the man could do what Bård thought he was about to do. But he did.

Anders rammed the rod deep into the wound on Vegard's leg and Vegard screamed like a injured animal. He wailed until his voice broke. Anders was moving the rod inside the wound and Bård only distantly realised he was begging the man to stop. Vegard was making uneven panting noises. Anders pulled the rod out in one fast movement and Vegard threw up all over his lap. Bård closed his eyes and prayed to whichever deity was listening. This had to stop now. They needed help. If there was a higher power out there, they needed it to intervene. This could not continue.

“First part done,” Anders declared.

“You sick fucker! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you want to kill us? Just do it then, stop torturing us for fuck's sake! What the hell is the point?” Bård screamed, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Vegard was completely silent.

“The game,” was all Anders said. He approached Bård with the bloody rod and Bård found that he just didn't care anymore.

“Do what you fucking want. I don't give a crap!”

“Now you see. Now you have truly broken.”

“Fuck you.”

Anders scoffed and turned the lamp off. Bård heard him walk out and lock the door. They were alone in the dark again.

*****

Anders hadn't tightened Bård's ties so he could jiggle closer to Vegard with his chair. He realised he had missed on his first try and tried to get Vegard to say something so he could find him. There was nothing. Bård sat completely still for a moment and held his breath. He could just make out Vegard's ragged breathing. He forced the chair closer to the sound and finally he was next to his brother. Bård huddled as close as his ties would allow, ignoring the smell from Vegard's lap.

“Vegard? Can you hear me at all? Just nod if you can,” Bård tried, but Vegard was hanging limp against his ties.

Bård had never been so desperate and so furious in his life. What had to go wrong in someone's head to be able to do something like this to another human being?

“Bård,” Vegard whispered weakly. “What happened?”

“Nothing important. Don't worry about it. How are you feeling?”

“Cold.”

“I'm sorry I can't get any closer,” Bård said and tried to push firmer against Vegard's side. Bård could move his upper body quite a bit but Vegard was firmly tied in place.

“'S fine,” Vegard muttered. He sounded like he was passing out again. Bård couldn't exactly blame him, but he didn't want to be alone in the dark.

“Come on Vegard. No time to sleep now. We have to get out of here.” And they did. Before Anders returned for the second part of the third round. But Vegard was out again. In a way, Bård was glad there was no light. He was sure there would be a red puddle under Vegard's chair by now and he had no desire to see it. Bård wondered if his brother had lost a dangerous amount of blood yet. Vegard was probably in shock too. Bård had to do something and fast.

Bård rocked his chair hard. It took him a couple of tries, but he managed to get his feet on the ground. It was very awkward, but somehow his ties had just enough give to allow him to stand on his own feet with the chair clinging to his backside. Bård found the nearest wall and rammed the chair backwards into it with all his strength. It wasn't enough. The chair was old and sturdy, made of thick wood. Bård yelled and tried again. And again. And again.

At some point, Bård's efforts finally started to pay off. He didn't even feel it when the chair started to fall apart until he ran against the wall again and there was nothing left but the remains of the chair clinging to him by duct tape. Bård tore them roughly off and tossed down. He immediately ran to where he remembered Vegard to be. He felt around with his hands and finally bumped into Vegard's shoulder. He started tearing off the duct tape, then remembered that Anders hadn't removed the table from the room. Bård approached the table and managed to close his hand around the knife lying on it without cutting himself. Bård clumsily used the knife in his left hand and managed to cut the tape from Vegard's ankles, legs, wrists and arms. Bård just finished Vegard's last tie when he realised the mistake he had made.

The duct tape had been the only thing keeping Vegard upright. When Bård cut the last piece off, Vegard slipped onto the floor. Bård cursed and went to help his brother, but then he heard the key turn in the lock. Bård was torn for a moment. Should he stay with Vegard or run to the door for an ambush? The hinges creaked a bit and Bård made a run for it. He was holding the knife, albeit in his left hand, and rushed straight towards Anders when the man stepped into the room. The element of surprise was the only thing that gave Bård the upper hand.

Bård was shouting and stabbing with the knife, missing half the time, but many of the slashes found their mark. Anders tried to defend himself, but Bård was flailing with the strength and speed only pure desperation could give. If Bård had stopped to consider what he was doing for even one second, he would've tossed the knife away in disgust, but he simply kept going. Until finally, there was no resistance anymore.

Bård was panting hard and his heart was racing so fast he was afraid he would faint. He kicked Anders with his toes. The man wasn't moving. Bård realised he was shaking. What had he just done? Had he taken a life? Bård was afraid he would vomit, but instead the floor rose up to meet him and then all went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the comments! They really are what keep me going with this thing. :)

Bård woke up to persistent prodding. He slowly returned to full awareness. The horror of what he had just done hit him like a truck. This simply could not be real. It couldn't.

“We have to go,” Vegard said quietly. He was lying on the ground next to Bård. There was only faint light from the open door, but Bård could see well enough. Vegard looked dreadful. And suddenly Bård wasn't sorry at all. If there was one life he could take without being torn by guilt, it would be Anders'.

“He's not dead, you know,” Vegard said and Bård nearly jumped. Sometimes he felt like his brother could actually read his mind. Bård stood up and turned to look at Anders. He noticed that Vegard had bound the man's hands and legs together with duct tape. The man was unconscious and had bled heavily, but he was still breathing. Bård turned to look at Vegard again.

“Why didn't you wake me to do that? Shit, you can't even walk, can you?” Bård asked with anger and then the entire truth of the statement dawned on him. Six kilometres to the main road.

“I'm fi-” Vegard started but that pushed Bård over the edge.

“Finish that sentence and I will punch you!” Bård shouted but immediately regretted it. What was wrong with him, threatening his brother with violence in a situation like this?

“Let's just go,” Bård said, dispirited and exhausted. He didn't want to be in the room when Anders woke up. Bård bent down and pulled Vegard to his feet. He immediately saw that it wouldn't work. Vegard couldn't hold back a cry of pain and he was shaking and gasping for breath. Bård lowered Vegard to sit on the floor again. He was starting to get a sense of urgency and he glanced at Anders' direction. Was the man awake already and just waiting for an opportune moment?

The fear gave Bård strength. He grabbed Vegard and pulled him up on his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Vegard was begging Bård to put him down but Bård blocked that out. He walked out of the room and kicked the door behind him. He heard it click shut. Anders had the key, but hopefully he wouldn't be able to free himself from the ties. Still, Bård knew they had to hurry.

Bård grunted with effort as he made his way up the stairs. Vegard wasn't really heavier than Bård, but he wasn't exactly lighter either. Bård entered the main room of the cabin and dropped Vegard on the sofa, maybe a bit too roughly. Vegard whined in pain and Bård looked at him. There was plenty of light from the fireplace and several candles in the room.

Vegard was alarmingly pale. His shirt was mostly torn and stained with blood. The entire left side of his jeans was drenched in blood. Bård bent closer and realised that there was a fresh trickle coming from the wound. Bård cursed and looked around for something to use as a bandage. Then he realised he had access to actual bandages.

Bård ran outside and looked for a relatively large rock. He found one and smashed the back window of their van. Anders had taken the keys from Vegard's pocket and Bård had no idea where they were. They also didn't know how Anders had sabotaged the car, so using it to escape wasn't an option. Vegard's emergency supplies were untouched though. Bård climbed in through the back hatch and searched the tidy space. There was very little light, but Bård knew what he was looking for. Eventually, his hands found the small square emergency first aid kit, sending shooting pains up Bård's little finger. It was amazing how he could simply forget an injury that he would've considered debilitating in another situation. Now it was just a minor inconvenience that slowed his actions.

Bård ran inside with the first aid kit. Vegard was lying exactly where he had left him. Bård opened the kit and looked for a roll of bandages. He found the white cloth and took some sterilised gauze packets out too. He had no time to be tender, so he simply ripped the hole in Vegard's jeans bigger and slapped some gauze on the bleeding wound without looking at it too closely. After the padding was in place, Bård wrapped a full roll of bandage around the leg. That would have to do for now. He quickly browsed through the first aid kit but found nothing else that would be of use to them. He ignored Vegard's numerous other wounds. It would take him much too long to wrap them all and they didn't seem to be bleeding too badly anyway.

“Come on, we have to go,” Bård said and shook Vegard. He had slipped into exhausted sleep.

“Wait,” Vegard said weakly.

“We can't wait any longer. We have to go now.”

“No. Drink some water first.”

Bård looked at Vegard as if he had gone mad. They had no time for that! But then Bård realised that he was thirsty. Maybe his brother had a point after all. They had no idea how long they had been trapped and tortured. It was still dark outside, but several hours had passed. If Bård had been feeling better, he might have realised that he still had the cellphone in his pocket and he could've checked the time. But as it was, Bård had enough of a challenge in just keeping himself together and moving. He hurried to the table where he had seen a bucket of water. Anders had made them coffee using it, so Bård assumed it was clean and drinkable. He took the ladle from the bucket and emptied it three times before he felt his thirst was sated. Then he took the filled ladle to Vegard and helped him drink. Vegard didn't want more than one full ladle, so they were ready to leave.

Bård knew there was no way he would be able to carry Vegard six kilometres in a dark forest with no light. Vegard would simply have to walk himself. Bård put his brother's arm over his shoulder and pulled him upright. It was a little bit awkward because of their height difference, but it was manageable. Bård could feel Vegard tense up, but he said nothing. They walked slowly to the door and exited the cabin. Bård cast a longing look at their van. It would've been so easy to just jump in and drive to safety. With a deep sigh, Bård directed them towards the road.

The moon was only a small sickle, but the stars gave a tiny amount of illumination. Even so, the road was almost completely dark and they could only just make out the trees around them and thus know that they were still on the road. Bård also felt the hard surface of the dirt road under his shoes. Vegard was limping along, missing half his steps and leaving Bård to bear most of his weight. The situation seemed so hopeless. Bård knew his own strength wouldn't last long and Vegard was almost done already. Their laboured breathing was the only sound in the night.

*****

When the first rays of the sun touched the sky, Bård felt like crying. It felt like they had been limping along for hours. They probably had. Bård was completely exhausted and Vegard was only barely conscious. They had stopped a couple of times when Vegard had simply crumpled to the ground and Bård couldn't get him to stand up. The breaks hadn't been long, but Bård had been absolutely terrified that Anders would suddenly jump out from behind the nearest tree. He had kept watch while Vegard lied on the ground during their breaks and had thus gotten very little rest, save from sitting down.

Apart from being deathly tired and thirsty, Bård was also freezing cold. He cursed that he hadn't had the presence of mind to grab some jackets for them. And if Bård felt the cold so acutely, he couldn't even imagine how Vegard was doing, having lost so much blood and only wearing the tattered remains of his shirt. Bård had considered swapping tops with his brother, but many of Vegard's wounds were glued to his shirt with dried blood. Bård was afraid that pulling the shirt off would only aggravate all the wounds into bleeding again and Vegard simply could not afford to lose any more blood.

Bård didn't like how unresponsive Vegard was. At times Bård felt like he was dragging a corpse along. But somehow, miraculously, Vegard did keep moving his feet and making some effort to support at least a part of his own weight. Bård had no idea how he did it.

The brothers had reached the main road slightly after dawn. The day promised to be the complete opposite of the previous one. There was not a cloud in sight and the sun rose bright, although not warm. There had not been a single car on the road during night and morning. Bård felt like they were walking through some nightmare where they were the only ones who existed. But of course they weren't. Bård was still absolutely terrified that Anders would jump out from behind some bush. He kept looking over his shoulder and into the forest. Once he thought he saw movement, but he hadn't seen anything since then and had heard nothing out of place at all.

They had progressed only maybe a kilometre at best from where they had finally rejoined the main road when Vegard went limp again. Bård carefully lowered his brother on the ground. Bård checked the wound on his thigh as he did whenever they stopped. It had kept on bleeding sluggishly throughout the night and by morning the bandage was completely soaked. Bård felt such crushing despair. He truly didn't understand how his brother could even be alive anymore.

Bård sat down on the ground miserably. Just one car. One car passing by and they would be saved. But no one came. Bård idly wondered why there hadn't been a tow truck for the van yet. Surely the film crew had made it to the nearest town by then? Or maybe they couldn't get anyone to come tow them out before morning. Bård hugged his arms tighter around himself. He thought he should be warm from the effort of half-carrying his brother along, but he wasn't. The cold seemed to have seeped into his bones in the basement and no rays of light could ever warm him again. Bård didn't think his spirits could possibly sink any lower. But he was on a mission and could not give up. He had to get Vegard somewhere safe. Knowing that his brother would die if he didn't keep going gave Bård more strength then he ever thought possible.

After they had been resting for what felt like a long time to Bård, he tried to rouse Vegard. During their earlier breaks, Bård had always managed to get Vegard to look at him, claim he was just fine and stay on his feet for a minute before he was giving Bård his full weight again. But this time, Bård could not get any response out of his brother. Vegard was breathing, but he simply would not react, even when Bård slapped him and shook him and pressed one of the numerous cuts he had on his body. Vegard's breathing seemed to be too fast and his skin felt clammy and cold, and still he was sweating slightly.

Bård felt like crying yet again but the tears would not come. Vegard was done. This was the end of the line. No one had come to rescue them. They would perish on the cold road, alone and abandoned. There was no hope.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading and commenting! I especially loved hearing how scared you are and what you fear might happen next. I only hope this won't disappoint.

Börje and Anna Fredriksson were driving along a small road somewhere in a Norwegian forest. They were maybe a little bit lost, but Börje would never admit it. They were on a holiday trip from their native Sweden. They had camped in just about all the camp-sites in Sweden and had now decided to try their neighbour's wilderness. They were a little bit too old to be camping this late in the autumn, but the summer had been hectic at Anna's work and thus she could only have her holiday later. Börje was already retired, two years ahead of his wife. They had been on the trip for a week and both were feeling it in their bones. Neither would admit it though, so they kept going.

They had stayed at a hotel the previous night and left early in the morning to drive to their desired camping place. It had been an absolutely beautiful morning with the sun rising in full glory, covering the sky with its golden rays. Börje had been driving quite slowly in order to admire the gorgeous nature around them. It was only their slow speed and Börje's surprisingly quick reflexes that prevented them from hitting the people on the road.

Börje yelled and hit his breaks, directing the car to the side of the man sitting on the ground.

“Bless my heart!” Anna breathed out. They turned to look at the man and realised there were actually two: one sitting and one lying down. Anna wasted no time but exited the car immediately. Börje tried to get her to stop, saying something about young hooligans these days who would fake distress and rob their belongings, but his wife wasn't listening. Anna was kind, overly empathic and had a great need to take care of everyone. Börje could only follow and make sure nothing happened to his wife.

“Hello”, Anna said in Swedish and met the man's eyes. She noticed that he was very young, not far into his twenties. He climbed slowly to his feet and begged for help in a mixture of Norwegian and Swedish. He pointed to the young man lying on the ground and said his brother was hurt and needed help badly. Anna understood and took a good look at the two.

The young man standing in front of her looked very upset. He had bags under his blue eyes and his face was very pale. There were no obvious injuries that Anna could see, but that didn't mean there weren't any. Anna moved her gaze to the dark-haired man lying on the ground and she could immediately see that the boys were not trying to fool them. If the brown-haired boy looked pale, the one of the ground was almost translucent. His lips had a slight blueish tint to them and Anna could see from a couple of meters away that he was shivering almost convulsively. His shirt was in tatters and there was a blood-soaked bandage around his left thigh.

“Börje! We need to help these boys!”

Börje approached with more caution, but he could also immediately tell that the young men were truly hurt. He asked if they had been in an accident and the thin brown-haired one hesitated. Eventually he just repeated that they needed help. Börje figured that he was probably in shock. He couldn't see a car anywhere near but he thought they must have crashed one. Maybe walked some distance to get help. Börje and Anna had noticed that their cell phones had lost all reception soon after they entered the forest, so calling for help wasn't an option.

“Come to the car then. Do you need help?” Börje asked and pointed at the dark-haired boy. Anna had knelt down next to him, checking his pulse and petting his hair soothingly. The brown-haired one nodded and went to his brother. Together he and Börje lifted him and carried to the car. They managed to get him into the back seat and the other young man sat down next to him, holding his brother's head in his lap. Luckily both boys were rather short so they fit well into the back seat, even with one of them lying down.

Börje and Anna debated whether they should return to the village they had left that morning or continue to the next. They checked the map and determined that although it was a slightly longer way to the next town, it seemed larger, guaranteeing that there would be a hospital. Anna gave her jacket to the brown-haired one who covered his brother with it. Börje turned up the heating, having noticed that the air outside had been too cold for the brothers' clothing.

“I'm Anna. This is my husband Börje.”

“Bård. Vegard.”

That was all the conversation they had on the way to the town. Anna had tried to ask about what had happened, but Bård refused to talk to them. Not deliberately, he simply seemed too exhausted to focus and too worried about his completely non-responsive brother. Anna wished they'd have water in the car, but they had finished their only bottle mere minutes before finding the boys. She urged Börje to drive a little bit faster. He was somewhat unwilling since they were on a strange road, but there were no other cars passing them so Börje increased the speed a little bit.

Eventually, they made it safely into town. Both boys were fast asleep, despite Bård's efforts to stay awake. Börje and Anna quickly found traffic signs pointing to a hospital. They wasted no time in getting to it. Börje stopped the car right in front of the main entrance and Anna ran inside to get help. After Bård was roused, he could walk in himself, but Vegard was wheeled in on a stretcher. Börje and Anna stayed there for a while, but they would not be told anything about the brothers since they weren't related, and after waiting for a little bit longer, they simply left. They hoped they would one day find out what happened to the two, but figured it unlikely and continued their journey.

The Swedish couple's shock was great when a couple of days later they saw an article in a local newspaper telling how the two hosts of a popular TV show had been assaulted while interviewing an artist who was now missing. Anna immediately recognised the picture of the two boys, smiling widely and posing for the promotional shot, even if they had looked so ragged and ill that night. She was saddened to read that the dark-haired one was still in critical condition. Luckily, the brown-haired one, Bård, had escaped serious injury. She doubted they remembered her and her husband. They would probably stay as mysterious guardian angels in the boys' minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we have officially wrapped up the H part. Thank you so much reading and commenting!
> 
> I sincerely hope you will continue to enjoy this story as we move on to the C part from next chapter on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments! I can't even tell you how much every single one of them means to me.

Bård felt utterly ridiculous, but he was nervous. He was standing in front of the hospital's main entrance and he hesitated for a long moment before going in. People passed him by on either side, some looking very annoyed at the young man stood in the way, but most just dodged him without even fully noticing him. It was stupid and irrational, but something kept Bård from entering.

Minutes ticked by and Bård took a look at his watch. He was already late, but then again, he was known for always being late. He finally took two deep breaths and opened the door. He walked the much too familiar path to the stairwell left of the reception desk and ascended two flights of stairs. After he entered the ghastly green hallway, he turned right and stood in front of room 28. He had walked through that door so many times during the past month and a half. But this time was different. This would be the last time. After this time, Bård would be responsible. He opened the door and stepped in.

To say that Vegard looked terrible was an understatement. His hair looked lank and dead, his eyes hollow and he had lost a lot of weight. It turned out that they had gotten Vegard to the hospital just in time. He had needed blood transfusions and he had been mildly hypothermic and borderline dehydrated. The doctors had mentioned things like circulatory shock and grade three hypovolemia but Bård had been too upset to really understand any of it. The wound on Vegard's leg had been deep and wide and even with professional care, including one surgery, it took a long time to heal. Vegard had also managed to get pneumonia on top of it all, which wasn't really surprising in his weakened condition, but life-threatening nonetheless. As a result, he had spent nearly two months in the hospital, recovering agonisingly slowly.

Bård had been there all that time. He had spent only one night under observation in the hospital himself. Bård had been in a room with three strangers, sleeping under medication. Vegard had been in intensive care, hooked up to all sorts of tubes and monitoring equipment. Bård remembered the first time he had seen Vegard like that. He had cried. He thought he should probably be ashamed of breaking down like a child, but the sight of his brother lying there, not aware of anything was just so unfair. They had escaped. They should be free, not completely helpless. Bård wondered if Vegard even knew that they weren't trapped in that basement anymore.

After Vegard got a bit better, he of course knew what was going on. They were even talking about discharging him. But then he got the infection in his lungs and as he lay there, delirious with fever, Bård sat next to him, listening to his brother beg for mercy. Never for himself though. It was always 'don't hurt him, take me, don't touch him' and Bård knew exactly what Vegard was raving about. It almost broke Bård. He should've been saying the same things. But instead, Bård had done nothing. He had let the events unfold and that made him responsible.

Bård had spent a long time sitting by Vegard's bedside, just looking at him. Vegard had been doing so poorly at first. Bård had not realised how much damage Anders had done to his body in such a short time. It all had seemed so simple, but the repercussions were great. It had taken the man no more than a minute to ram a rod into Vegard's leg, but the doctors had spent hours fixing it. Bård was a little bit hazy on the details. Whenever someone explained to him exactly what was happening with Vegard, Bård felt like his brain just shut down. All he heard was a voice telling him that his brother was fine, there was nothing wrong. The voice was telling lies, but Bård simply could not bring himself to contradict it. For if the voice was correct, then where did that leave Bård?

Bård knew he had made a choice that night in the cellar. He should've been stronger. He should've had the courage to face what was his part instead of letting his brother bear it all. Bård felt such crushing guilt that it kept him awake at night. And the guilt wasn't the only thing preventing Bård from having a solid night's sleep. After the police had gone to investigate Anders' cabin, there had been no sign of the man. The police had searched the property thoroughly. They had found some curious patches in the forest floor where the undergrowth seemed to have been pulled up at some point. The police got to digging and found a pair of bodies under each headless mannequin. The freshest pair had been identified as twin sisters in their late teens who had disappeared on a family camping trip, not far from Anders' cabin. After running tests on the other remains, all couples had been identified as siblings, many of them twins.

Bård had found out about the police investigation and its results. The thought that they would certainly have been tortured until they died if they hadn't managed to escape was almost more than Bård could bear. And Anders was still somewhere out there. Very little was known about the man. Even in the interview (gods that felt like a lifetime ago), he had been very sparse with details about himself. They had mainly talked about Anders' art, how he saw something so exhilarating in combining the human form with the organic forces of the nature. But Bård still didn't know where Anders came from, where he had worked, if he had family, anything at all. And that made him even more dangerous in Bård's mind: completely foreign, unpredictable and a looming threat.

The film crew had never gotten around to organising for a tow truck. They had walked along the main road for quite a while until a car drove past them and gave them a lift to the town that night. They had gone straight to a hotel, reserved rooms and then gone out to eat. In the morning, they had all been somewhat hung over and slept long. They had been woken up by a phone call from Bård, explaining in very few details what had happened. The film crew had rushed to the hospital. They had felt incredibly guilty, knowing they had basically left the brothers there as a practical joke almost. Seeing the defeated look on Bård's exhausted face had had all of them blink back tears. And witnessing Vegard fight for his life had almost been their undoing.

The film crew had treated Bård like he was a shattered china doll that had been hastily glued together. It didn't make Bård feel any better. After all, what right did he have to be upset? He only had a bruised backside from ramming the chair into the wall so hard in his attempts to escape and a broken finger that had been treated and would heal eventually back to its full function. Bård was also free to come and go as he wanted. The doctors had seen no reason to transfer Vegard to Bergen, so he had been stuck in the small town. Bård refused to leave and had stayed at a hotel not far from the hospital. The film crew had at first offered to stay with him, but when it became apparent how slow Vegard's recovery would be, they had all left for home. The boys' mother had planned to come and stay with Bård, but she couldn't really take much time off from work, so she mainly visited during the weekends. Most of the time, Bård was alone.

The nights were the worst. Bård had tried sleeping one night with the lights off and he would not repeat it. Even with the lights on, he barely managed more than a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. After that it would be waking to nightmares, dozing off, being roused by more nightmares, feeling guilty and ashamed of his own reactions, which in turn only worked to intensify the anxiety. Bård had stopped looking in mirrors after he realised he looked like a zombie. So be it, nothing he could do about that. Besides, none of this was about him. After all, he wasn't the one who nearly died.

*****

Bård walked to Vegard's bedside. He had a chair there that he had spent countless hours in. Bård had even bought a pillow and a blanket for the chair to be comfortable during his visits. Sometimes Bård slept in the chair and somehow the nightmares didn't seem so bad when he could unconsciously hear Vegard breathing next to him. Bård sat down and looked at his brother. They would be releasing Vegard that day. He didn't look like he was in any condition to walk out of the hospital, but Bård knew his brother was doing better. Of course, considering just how bad the lowest point had been, anything was an improvement from that. Vegard was fast asleep and Bård settled in to wait. They were in no hurry. Their mother had driven Vegard's car to the small town during one of her visits and Bård would drive him and his brother home in it. They might do it in one long stretch or stop along the way, depending on how they felt.

Minutes turned into one hour and Bård suddenly woke up. He hadn't realised he had been sleeping. He looked around and instantly panicked when Vegard's bed was empty. Luckily, his brother shuffled in five minutes later, properly dressed for the first time in nearly two months. Bård looked at him but didn't say anything. Bård had brought Vegard his spare jeans and a green hoodie from their luggage. The clothes were hanging awkwardly from Vegard's thinner frame.

Bård still couldn't believe how much weight Vegard had lost in such a short time. But then again, he hadn't been overly heavy to begin with, so first being too ill to eat and then having no appetite whatsoever combined with bed rest had left their mark on him. Most days, the only thing Vegard managed to get down was a single small banana milkshake Bård brought him from a nearby burger place. Bård didn't know how touchy Vegard would be about the subject so he chose not to bring it up. But he was worried. Vegard would be his responsibility now. Bård didn't know if the hospital had monitored Vegard's nutrient intake and supplemented it intravenously, but now it would be all up to Bård. He wasn't sure if he was ready for the responsibility.

“Ready to go?” Bård asked and Vegard smiled. His eyes looked ridiculously large as his chubby cheeks had all but melted away. Bård averted his eyes. He needed his brother to be better, not to be constantly reminded visually of what had happened.

“About time, huh,” Vegard said and sat down on the bed. He had his discharge papers and his meagre belongings tucked into the front pocket of the hoodie. Bård gathered his blanket and pillow from the chair and thus they were ready to go.

“You need anything from the pharmacy?”

“Nah, I'm all fixed,” Vegard grinned. He seemed to be in a bouncy mood. Bård didn't trust it at all. It was one of the warning signs that Vegard wasn't feeling his best. Next there would be deflection in the form of directing all comments about well-being to Bård. If he knew his brother.

“Okay, I have the car down, we can just go unless you want to eat first?” Bård asked, knowing the answer already.

“I'm good. Unless you're hungry?”

“I had a large breakfast. Let's go then.”

Bård usually took the stairs down but now he directed them straight to the elevator. He knew Vegard's leg was still quite sore, although the wound had finally closed. Some deep tissue damage and something funky with the muscles, the doctors had said but once again, it had flown right over Bård's head. The ride down was silent. Bård noted absently that Vegard was keeping all his weight firmly on his right.

“You're not going to let me drive, are you?” Vegard suddenly asked.

“Not a fucking chance,” Bård said, wondering why Vegard would even bother asking.

“Are you sure you're up for it?”

“Me? Of course I am. Why?”

“You look really tired,” Vegard shrugged. Bård only looked at him. The elevator hit the ground floor and the doors opened right then, so they dropped the conversation and focused on getting off and reaching the door.

Bård had parked as close to the main entrance as he could, but it was still a small walk to the car. He pointed at Vegard's cheap red Honda and his brother nodded. He could make it that far. Bård stayed close to his side though. Vegard was limping a little bit, but he didn't say anything. Bård dared ask if Vegard needed a break but he told his brother he was enjoying the chance to stretch his legs. Much too perky. Clearly hurting.

“Suit yourself,” Bård said and slowed his pace further. He usually merrily ignored the fact that Vegard sometimes had trouble keeping up if Bård was walking very fast, but this time he matched his brother's shorter strides. They made it to the car, set the nose towards Bergen and silence ruled for the first two hours. After that, Bård kept his eyes open for a petrol station. The car needed a refill and Bård was getting quite hungry as well.

After another half an hour of driving, Bård noticed a large petrol station with a restaurant and a small supermarket next to it. He pointed them out to Vegard who had been dozing. Bård filled the car first and then drove it in front of the restaurant's entrance. They got out and stretched a bit after sitting still so long. Then they went in and Bård headed straight for the buffet counter. Everything looked delicious, even if it was just average roadside fare.

“You want some?” Bård asked. Vegard just shook his head. Bård sighed. But then he noticed Vegard eyeing the dessert table. There was chocolate pudding and whipped cream. Bård was usually against skipping the actual food in favour of dessert, but this time he was willing to make an exception.

“Want just the dessert?” Bård asked, very carefully keeping his voice neutral. Vegard seemed dreadfully embarrassed but he nodded. He was even more anal about the order food should be eaten in than his brother. Bård sighed in relief. He knew Vegard hadn't suddenly developed an eating disorder, but it was truly unsettling to see his pig of a brother refuse food. Bård suspected all the heavy medication had wreaked havoc on Vegard's stomach, but of course he didn't say anything. Bård paid at the till, took a plate and started piling it high from the buffet.

“How far from Bergen do you think we are?” Bård asked after he had devoured half of his pile. Vegard was slowly eating a small portion of the dessert. Bård didn't understand why he only wanted sweet things, but he'd certainly encourage Vegard to eat whatever he wanted. And that was another thing that Bård had never thought would happen. That was different now. Bård used to mock his brother for his endless appetite and constant fascination with food. For a moment, he felt the familiar rage wash over him. Watching Vegard slowly nibble tiny spoonfuls made Bård's blood boil. Bård squeezed his fork with all his strength. He was eating one-handed since his finger was still in the process of healing, but he squeezed his right hand into a fist as well, heedless of the pain. It just wasn't fair.

“Oh, it's just about six more hours at the speed we've been going,” Vegard answered after thinking for a moment. Bård almost physically shook himself from his thoughts. Six hours and they would finally be home. It had been so long since Bård had been in his apartment. Their mother had told them that she had been there to do some light cleaning and re-stocking Bård's empty cupboards. They had agreed that Vegard would stay at Bård's for a while. Bård had been quite surprised when their mother had suggested it. He would've sworn that she would command Vegard to come home to recuperate. Maybe she thought the brothers needed to be together.

“Though with the petrol consumption we'll probably need to stop to refuel again, maybe twice,” Vegard mused, waving his spoon around. Bård lifted an eyebrow.

“How small is the tank on that thing?”

Vegard started specifying everything that was wrong with his crappy car but Bård tuned it out. This was good. This was familiar. Vegard droning on about something Bård couldn't care less about. If Bård closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that they were simply on a road trip. That nothing was wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

It was a full hour later when Vegard finally shook Bård awake. Bård opened his eyes, blinking in confusion. For a moment he had no idea where he was or what had happened. Then he remembered.

“How long was I out? Why the hell did you let me sleep?” Bård screeched.

“You looked like you needed it,” Vegard said quietly. Bård narrowed his eyes. Vegard looked paler than he had earlier and somehow... upset.

“Did something happen?” Bård asked, almost fearing the answer. Vegard shook his head and Bård was torn for a moment. Should he pursue it or let it go? Vegard obviously didn't want to talk about whatever had him unsettled, but Bård felt it might be important. He decided to wait until they were in the car and had complete privacy.

The brothers got up and exited the building. It had started to rain, but the car was parked close. It sputtered for a moment when Bård turned the key and he was ready to curse all the gods that existed, but then the motor came roaring into life. Vegard really needed to get a better car.

Bård drove along the road for a while. Vegard was slouching in his seat with his leg stretched as straight as the narrow space allowed.

“So what happened when I was asleep?” Bård finally asked, startling Vegard out of his thoughts.

“Nothing.”

“Don't lie to me. I could see something had upset you. I need to know what it was.”

“It's nothing.”

So Vegard was going to be stubborn about it. Bård might have given up, but he knew his brother. The less Vegard wanted to talk about it, the more he needed to.

“Did you get... scared?” Bård said and blushed bright pink. These were not the kinds of conversations they had ever had in their lives. Bård felt awkward as hell, but he knew it had to be done. He certainly didn't want to hear if his older brother had felt as lost as Bård felt when he was alone. He didn't want the words uttered out into the world, but this wasn't about him.

“No!” Vegard denied hotly. Bård waited.

“It's just... it's so stupid,” Vegard finally said, very quietly. Bård knew better than to say anything. He simply waited, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I just... I went to the bathroom and when I came out... someone... bumped into me,” Vegard said, sounding almost out of breath.

“Did they hurt you?” Bård finally asked when Vegard didn't continue.

“No,” Vegard's voice was barely a whisper. Bård waited again. He did not want to be a part of this conversation. Hearing Vegard sound so crushed was nearly crushing Bård too.

“It's just that... they touched me,” Vegard said, covered his face in his hands and started crying. Bård was so shocked he had to pull the car over lest he drive off the road. He started to shake and felt his breath come too fast. Vegard was crying. Not gentle tears silently rolling down his cheeks, he was sobbing almost violently. For a moment, Bård couldn't do anything. He simply sat there and forced his breath to calm down. Then he opened his seatbelt, got out of the car, walked to Vegard's side, opened his door and belt as well and pulled him into his arms. Vegard clung to him so tight it almost hurt. Bård stayed there, not daring to move or say anything.

Bård didn't know how long they spent like that. Vegard eventually stopped crying and simply leaned against his brother. Bård patted his back awkwardly. He had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. What he _wanted_ to do was throw up and hide under a blanket. _This is not about you_ , Bård reminded himself again. He was considering saying something, but nothing even remotely sensible came to his mind. Vegard lifted his face off Bård's chest and dug out a handkerchief. Bård took the chance to return to his seat and re-start the car. He had driven for a good while when Vegard pulled himself together enough to talk.

“Fuck, I'm sorry,” he said, his voice sounding a bit unsteady still. “You must think I've fucking lost my mind.”

Bård came very close to saying something light-hearted, letting the incident pass by without further comment. But somehow, he just couldn't.

“It's okay. You can't expect to get over this overnight,” Bård said without looking at his brother. Only it had been several long nights. Over a month's worth of endless nights full of horrors and fear and despair. Bård laying there alone, knowing the man who hurt him was still out there. Maybe he would come and finish the job one night. In the dark hours of the morning, before the sun rose, Bård would've almost welcomed it, just to end it all.

“I'll help you through it”, Bård said, feeling like he was in some bad soap melodrama. He couldn't understand what had compelled him to say something that sounded so corny even to his own ears.

“We were both there, you know,” Vegard said. Bård was taken aback.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Vegard muttered and this time Bård let it be. He concentrated on driving. The sun was going down and it would be dark soon. Suddenly Bård realised that they were driving through a forest. He pressed down harder on the gas pedal. He had no desire to be in a forest when it got full dark.

*****

Bergen. Home. Sleep.

Bård's mind kept repeating the three words on a loop. He had driven all day. It was past ten in the evening and they were mere twenty kilometres away from Bård's apartment. Vegard had pretty much slept the entire trip. Bård was grateful for that. Their attempts at conversation had been very awkward and Bård didn't want to witness another breakdown. At his apartment, they'd at least have some personal space. The crappy little Honda offered no places to hide or withdraw into. Bård had felt completely bare under Vegard's occasional glances at his direction. Luckily, the older brother had fallen asleep and stayed that way for several hours.

The sceneries were achingly familiar and Bård realised that he had been rather homesick. First they had been on a long filming tour and then delayed in the small town much further north. Bård was also very glad that their mother had prepared the place. When they got home, he would stumble into bed and sleep for a year. Except that he wouldn't. First of all, he would stumble onto the couch since he would give the bed to Vegard. And second of all, Bård doubted he would manage more than his usual couple of hours. And in that moment, Bård realised a horrible thing: he would either have to sleep in the dark or explain to Vegard why he wanted to keep the lights on.

Bård stole a glance at Vegard. He was completely out of it. Maybe Bård could get Vegard to bed, wait for him to fall back asleep and then go to bed himself with the lights on, turning them off in the morning long before Vegard woke up. Bård nodded to himself. That could just work. He would not have to reveal it to anyone.

Bård turned into the yard and felt like singing with joy. He didn't have a reserved parking spot since he owned no car, but there were some free guest parking spaces available. Bård parked and shook Vegard awake. He was groggy and confused but followed Bård when he got out of the car. Bård took their luggage from the trunk and dug out his keys, for the first time in such a long while. Just the familiar hallway had Bård feel tender as they piled into the tiny elevator. Vegard was yawning so wide Bård feared his mouth would simply split. He would not have to worry about Vegard falling back asleep the second he was horizontal.

Bård opened his door and stepped into his home. He drew in a great lungful of the air. It smelled piny fresh. Apparently their mother had done more than simply vacuumed. It smelled like she had wiped all the surfaces, including the floor. Bård noted that there was also a new rug in the hallway leading to the apartment from the door. Bård dropped the luggage and kicked his shoes off. Vegard was slightly slower and clumsier removing his. Bård took the time to walk into his bedroom and dig out fresh pyjamas for the both of them. He had kept the heating very low while he had been gone to save electricity, and apparently their mother had not put it higher. The flat was therefore a bit cold.

“Come on, into bed,” Bård told Vegard when his brother was eyeing the sofa.

“But it's yours,” Vegard said and yawned again. Bård told him to shut up and get into the pyjamas. Vegard obeyed without another word. Bård brought him a glass of water, made sure Vegard made it into the bed and closed the door. That had been much easier than he had expected.

Bård looked around his living room. Not much had changed. There had been a potted plant he had gotten from an ex-girlfriend but that had most likely died and been replaced, since Bård did not recognise the flower occupying the space on his windowsill. Apart from that, nothing else was different. Bård got out of the clothes he had worn for much too long and into the soft light blue flannel pyjamas. He glanced at the sofa and realised their mother had also turned it into a bed already, sheets and all. At that moment, Bård realised in horror that he was very close to tears. He decided he was overtired and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. And again he had to blink back the tears. Two new toothbrushes stood in their packages at the edge of the sink. Bård felt suddenly completely overwhelmed. He didn't know why. It was such a simple thing really. But at that moment, Bård just couldn't handle being loved.

*****

After Bård pulled himself back together, he emerged from the bathroom and lied down. The sofa was surprisingly comfortable. The lights were on and the door to the bedroom was closed. Nothing should be disturbing Bård's sleep and he was certainly exhausted after the long drive, but still he stayed awake for a long time. Thoughts kept rolling around in his head but he couldn't really catch any of them, he just listened to the mad cacophony. He really needed to get himself together. If Vegard was noticing that something was off, it would be all too apparent to anyone looking. During the lonely time of waiting for Vegard to get better, no one had been there to notice Bård. He was grateful for it. It wasn't a period of his life he was especially proud of.

As the hours ticked by, Bård did eventually fall into exhausted sleep. He managed five uninterrupted hours, but then he started the usual cycle of waking up. After the latest bout of nightmares, Bård looked at the time and realised it was six in the morning. Might as well get up then and not live through the horrors again. He quickly turned off the lights but soon found the apartment too dark in the low autumn light to actually see anything without them, so he happily kept them on. Bård sneaked into the bathroom and then to the kitchen. He was absolutely ravenous. Luckily, their mother had gone a little bit overboard when stocking Bård's refrigerator. Bård didn't think he had ever seen so many green things in there. And several kinds of cheeses. Three packages of cold cuts and various other things. Bård looked around at the counter and found two bags of rolls. He wouldn't have to go shopping for a week. The thought made Bård absurdly glad.

It was well after four in the afternoon when Vegard finally shuffled out of the bedroom. Bård had considered waking him but let him just sleep undisturbed. If Vegard's body told him to sleep nearly thirty hours with only minor interruptions, he must have been in need of it. He might be released from the hospital, but that didn't mean that Vegard was back to full health. His wounds had healed and he wasn't ill anymore, but his general condition had all but collapsed during his long stay at the hospital. The situation was also further compounded by his refusal to eat.

Vegard popped to the bathroom and Bård thought about the sandwiches he had made. He knew Vegard would probably turn them down, but he hoped a little pressure would help. Surely Vegard couldn't say no to sandwiches his little brother had gone to a lot of trouble for making? Bård scoffed. His attempts at manipulating his brother were probably sad at best, but he had to try. If he gave up now, what would the consequences be? Would Anders win after all?

“Morning!” Bård said and handed Vegard a glass of apple juice. Vegard downed it in one go before answering to the greeting.

“How are you feeling?”

“Bit out of it. How fucking long did I sleep? And how the hell did we get here?”

Bård couldn't help but laugh.

“You walked up here yourself. And you've been out for nearly thirty hours if you include the drive here, you lazy bugger.”

“Uhh, what day is it even?”

“Never mind that, just sit down before you fall.” Bård pushed a chair away from under the table with his foot and pointed at it. Vegard obeyed and lowered himself to the seat. He ran his hands through his hair and grimaced as he felt how greasy it was. Bård noticed that but told Vegard he should eat and sit a bit before showering. Vegard didn't look particularly excited at the prospect of food.

“Come now, I made you a delicious sandwich,” Bård said and took it out from the fridge. Vegard scrunched his nose. Bård wondered if this was something they should discuss. He most certainly did not want to, but if Vegard continued refusing food, Bård would start fearing for his life again. And Bård was tired of being afraid.

“So what's the deal?” Bård blurted out before he could stop himself. Vegard moved his gaze from the sandwich to his brother and lifted a single eyebrow.

“This,” Bård said by way of explanation and moved his hand in a wide arc that included just about everything. Vegard didn't understand – or refused to.

Bård was still teetering on the edge of wanting to confront his brother and wanting to avoid it at all costs. For one desperate moment, he wished their mother was there. She would sort Vegard out. But this was Bård's responsibility. He braced himself.

“Aren't you hungry?” He asked. Bård realised he was still stalling, but he just didn't know what to say, how to approach the matter.

“Not really,” Vegard said as if it was no big deal. He was still only looking at the sandwich in his hand. Bård felt like pulling his own hair out in frustration. He was not meant for these kinds of things, but it was his responsibility. Vegard was completely non-cooperative though and Bård didn't know what to do.

“Just eat it,” Bård whispered under his breath. Vegard looked at him with those huge brown eyes, looking like a lost puppy. And suddenly it was too much for Bård. He counted to ten and took huge breaths, held them in and blew them slowly out.

“Are you okay?” Vegard asked, setting the sandwich down and touching Bård's shoulder gently. That pushed Bård over the edge.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Bård shouted and made Vegard literally jump. “Fucking hell, just look at yourself! What the fuck, Vegard? Are you trying to kill yourself or what?” Bård was shouting, angry tears streaming down his cheeks. His breath was going in and out alarmingly fast but Bård just didn't care. Vegard looked at his younger brother and in that moment he looked so fragile that Bård's anger simply deflated. He could see tears start to gather in the brown eyes. Vegard got up faster than Bård thought he was capable of and dashed out of the room. Bård heard the bathroom door slam shut and moments later he heard Vegard retching and coughing. _Perfect. Now you've done it, Bård._

Bård buried his face in his hands. What had he just done? He couldn't believe he had yelled like that at his brother. Suddenly Bård couldn't bear to be in the room with himself. He ran to the hallway, grabbed his jacket and shoes in his hands and ran out. He stopped to put on the clothes when he reached the lobby of the building. Then he exited, picked a random direction and just started walking. His pace was very fast. He was pushing himself hard, eventually running. He didn't know how far he ran, he just kept going until he needed to stop. His finger was throbbing miserably and he was completely out of breath. Bård stood there, leaning on his thighs, just breathing for a moment.

He was an idiot. He couldn't be trusted with potted plants, why had he ever thought he might be competent enough to care for his brother? Bård bit his teeth tight against each other. He was such a miserable excuse of a human. There wasn't a single situation where Bård's inept interference didn't make it worse. The world would be a smoother, more beautiful place without him.

Bård looked to his left and saw a large truck approaching. It was driving fast. Just three steps and Bård would be in its path. Everything that had happened in the past two months seemed to culminate in that moment. Three steps and the world would finally be rid of Bård Ylvisåker. In that moment, Bård couldn't think of a single reason why he should not take those steps.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments!

Bård took one step. Just one. Then he stopped and could not continue. While he was torn and glued to place, the truck drove past, the wind after it ruffling Bård's long hair. Bård looked at the truck's rear lights. He had officially hit rock bottom. How pathetic could he possibly be? He looked around, noted where he was and turned around. He started walking towards his apartment, steps heavy and slow. He didn't really want to return, but he had to fix the mess he had made. And that, Bård realised, was the reason he had hesitated. Because no matter what, he was never alone.

Vegard was Bård's rock. He was solid, unmoving, incredibly powerful. Bård was like a kite, flying high, moving with buffets of wind. But he was tethered to the rock. As long as that string existed, Bård was grounded. He could not be blown away when the rock pulled him towards the ground. Sometimes Bård felt restricted and trapped by it, but he knew that string was made out of love. No bond could be stronger.

On his way home, Bård noticed a burger place. He dug around in his pockets and found a handful of coins. He counted them, nodded and entered the restaurant. Fifteen minutes later, he was standing behind his own door, one small banana milkshake in hands. He realised that the change had been the only thing in his pockets. He had left without his keys for the first time in his life. Face going rather red, Bård rang his own doorbell.

It took a long moment, but finally Bård heard the lock click. Vegard opened the door and retreated immediately back to Bård's bedroom. The sight of his brother being so meek and cautious around him made Bård deeply ashamed. He followed Vegard into the room after removing his shoes. Vegard was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. He looked like he had been crying.

“Did I have shampoo?” Bård asked after he noticed that Vegard's hair was wet. Vegard only nodded.

“I brought you a milkshake. Banana,” Bård said and set the container down on the night stand. Vegard gave no reaction.

“Listen, I'm really sorry I yelled at you. I feel like an asshole,” Bård finally said.

“You are,” Vegard said quietly, mumbling the end, but Bård knew exactly what he said. Bård made no effort to deny it. He waited if this would be where the dam broke and Vegard would pour everything out, but that was not the case.

Finally Bård just left the room, feeling in need of a shower himself. He finished after standing under the hot spray for longer than was decent. Bård was dressed in only a towel when he realised that all his clean clothes where in his bedroom. The door was closed, so Bård knocked on it, feeling awkward as hell. There was no reply and for a moment Bård was unsure whether that was a sign of his presence not being wanted or Vegard having fallen asleep. Bård said quietly that he was coming in and he opened the door. His second guess had been correct: Vegard was curled up in the middle of the bed like a cat, fast asleep. Bård noted with annoyance that the milkshake container was in the bin. He went to lift it back to the table and noted with pleasant surprise that it was empty.

Bård opened his closet and put some clothes on. He wasn't overly concerned about what he put on. He exited the room but left the door slightly open. He wandered into the kitchen for a glass or two of water. He had run quite a distance and felt ravenously hungry and very thirsty. It was when he pulled his sleeves up to keep them out of the way when he noticed that he was wearing one of his favourite shirts. It was maybe a little bit hideous – bright green with neon yellow lateral stripes – but Bård liked it. It had been a gift from their aunt Henriette to Vegard, only the long sleeves of the shirt had looked ridiculous on Vegard's short arms. Bård had stolen the shirt once and it had been in his closet ever since. Funny how such things could mean so much.

Bård downed three glasses of water and set to cooking. Their mother had left a couple of Tupperware dishes full of different sauces, leaving Bård only having to cook some pasta or rice or something with them. He chose spaghetti and put the water boiling. For a moment, he considered cooking enough for two, but he decided he had pressured Vegard quite enough for one day. Besides, his brother had finished the milkshake, so he had at least something in him. Bård still couldn't understand what was going on with Vegard, but if he wanted to exist on a mixture of milk, ice cream and artificial flavourings, Bård would run to the nearest burger place every day.

Bård finished cooking and devoured his simple but delicious meal. After setting the dishes on the counter, he plopped down on the sofa and watched some TV. He wasn't really following what was happening on the screen. He wasn't really thinking about anything either. He was just existing in a haze of exhaustion. He knew he needed more sleep, but it was just not happening.

Bård was slouching on the coach, floating in a sort of semi-aware state when he heard Vegard walk behind him. Bård could tell that Vegard didn't want to wake him if he was asleep, but he kept hesitating behind him. Bård felt a bit uncomfortable so he turned around.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Vegard almost automatically asked.

“Nah, wasn't sleeping really,” Bård said. He felt the desire to tell Vegard that he couldn't sleep at all, but his brother didn't need to be burdened with that. Bård asked Vegard if something was wrong but only got a shrug in response. Bård motioned for Vegard to come sit down next to him and he obeyed. They sat there side by side, not really watching the romantic comedy that happened to be on. Bård felt like they both needed to talk, had something to say, but the words simply would not come. So they sat in silence instead. But it was a good kind of silence. Bård felt like Vegard had forgiven him for his earlier behaviour and somehow that made Bård only feel worse about the whole thing. He really needed to pull himself together. But Bård didn't know how and he couldn't rely on Vegard for help.

*****

Days turned into a week. Bård could honestly say that he and Vegard had done nothing sensible at all during that time. They laid around the apartment, watched crap on TV and avoided talking about anything that mattered. Their parents had visited them once and that had been rather awkward. But they had brought more food and Bård was glad he didn't have to do something as mundane as grocery shopping. He did keep his mental promise though and ran to the nearest burger place every day to get Vegard his daily milkshake. Vegard occasionally tried to eat small things like plain bread with nothing on it, but Bård could see that he appeared to be in pain after it. Sometimes he managed small pudding cups too. Bård was worried about it, but Vegard absolutely refused to go to a hospital to get checked. And that was the end of that conversation. Bård promised himself to keep an eye on his brother. He probably should've forced Vegard to go, but Bård was too wary about pressuring him to do anything he didn't want to and let the matter drop instead.

Saturday night was a rather sad affair in the Ylvisåker household. Bård was filling the washing machine with dark clothes while Vegard sat on the bathroom floor and watched him. They had repeated similar behaviour before: Bård would do some housework while Vegard sat somewhere quietly watching him. Bård was sometimes a little bit creeped out by it, and sometimes pathetically glad for the company.

“Do you remember that time when I shrunk my shirt mere hours before I was supposed to perform wearing it?” Bård asked, smiling at the memory. Vegard had been absolutely furious with him, asking how he could mess up something as simple as doing laundry.

Vegard smiled. Bård was expecting a lecture on the properties of cotton and how hot water affected it, but Vegard said nothing. Bård closed his eyes. Normally Vegard couldn't keep from sharing all the useless facts he collected in his brain. His silence was upsetting Bård. He didn't want his brother to change. Deep down, Bård feared that the change had already happened. That it was permanent.

“I remember when you borrowed my white shirt and dyed it pink,” Vegard said and Bård felt a smile tug at his lips.

“I think I rather improved it,” Bård said and turned to look at Vegard. He was also smiling.

“You ruined it! I had to throw it away!” Vegard accused with a playfulness in his voice that Bård had not heard in a long while.

That was where Bård would normally claim that he was innocent or that Vegard's shirt had been ugly enough to begin with, but something made Bård hold his mouth shut. Vegard's words were left hanging in the air. Slowly, the smile disappeared from his face. Bård kept tossing clothes into the washing machine, maybe a bit more roughly than before. He heard Vegard get up and leave the room.

Bård set the machine on and went to the living room. Vegard was sitting on the sofa, staring at the blank TV screen. Bård hesitated for a moment. He wasn't quite sure what had just happened, but it felt like there was distance between them.

“You don't have to do that,” Vegard suddenly said.

“Do what?”

“Never mind. Nothing.”

“What? Vegard, what are you talking about?”

“Just... that.”

“I really can't understand what you mean.”

“Just never mind.”

Bård felt like they were going nowhere. He sat down next to Vegard and waited. Maybe his brother would just say what he wanted to say if he gave him time. Bård turned on the TV and flipped the channels idly.

“I just want things to be normal,” Vegard finally said, so quietly that Bård almost didn't catch it.

“Me too,” Bård admitted. He felt Vegard's gaze on him. Bård concentrated on whatever was showing on TV.

Silence reigned for a long while. Eventually, Bård's eyelids started drooping. He'd had very little sleep the previous night. The nightmares seemed to have been almost constant and in the end Bård had just gotten up and stared out the window until dawn. A yawn split Bård's face. He was very comfortable, warm and he could feel Vegard's leg pressed against his. Bård felt safe and good and soon he realised he had closed his eyes and was floating somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. He thought he felt a warm hand smooth his hair, but he later decided that had been his imagination. What his exhausted brain thought it heard obviously couldn't be real, so Bård knew he must have imagined it all.

“I'm sorry,” Vegard's voice said, only it couldn't possibly be Vegard, judging by the things Bård thought he heard.

“I wish I knew how to help you. And I wish you'd stop thinking I'm the only one who suffered. You did too and you shouldn't have to worry so much about me. I'm so sorry for burdening you. I just don't know what to do.”

Bård was fast asleep. He was out for three hours straight. When he woke up, he was quite confused. He appeared to be sitting upright on the sofa with the TV on. Had he just randomly fallen asleep? Suddenly Bård became aware that he wasn't alone. Vegard was there, sleeping next to Bård, huddled against the backrest of the sofa. Bård couldn't help but smile. Here they were, two young men in their twenties, spending Saturday evening snoozing on his ratty old coach. Bård looked at the time. Make that Saturday night.

Bård stood up and stretched. He needed some exercise. More than just running the couple of kilometres to the burger place and back every day. Maybe he would suggest going outside to Vegard the following day. Bård looked at his brother. He wondered if Vegard had staid next to him on the sofa on purpose or if he had simply fallen asleep. Either way, Bård couldn't leave him there. He wanted to spread the sofa into a bed and crawl under his blanket. He had probably slept all he would that night, but at least he could lie down and be comfortable.

Bård gave Vegard a gentle nudge. No reaction, Vegard was completely out of it. Bård went to give him a good shove, maybe even just drop him on the floor, but stopped himself. Instead, Bård put his arms under Vegard's knees and behind his back and bodily lifted him. Bård carried Vegard to his bed and tucked him in. Bård stood there for a moment, watching his brother sleep. He really didn't know what he would have done if Vegard had died. The thought alone was almost too much. Bård shook his head. Vegard was alive. He would continue to be alive. They were safe now and nothing could hurt them anymore. It was pointless to think about the what ifs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! Wish I could hug you all!
> 
> This is the last chapter. Just an epilogue to go after this.

“It's a lovely day outside,” Bård noted one sunny morning when they were sitting at the kitchen table. Bård was happily stuffing his face with porridge while Vegard slowly sipped a glass of cold water. He looked at his brother as if he had gone mad.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?” Bård asked, trying to sound casual. Vegard had been cooped up too long, Bård truly felt he would benefit from going out for a bit. Bård was also starting to feel a bit closed-in but he didn't want to leave his brother alone for a long time. Of course, Vegard's energy was very low since he was practically eating nothing, but maybe some fresh air could even help with his appetite.

Vegard looked at Bård, seeming to really ponder the question. Bård tried not to do anything to influence his decision. Eventually, Vegard conceded. It took some effort to find Vegard enough clothes that actually fit his thinner frame, but finally they were both fully clothed against the cold late-autumn weather and descending the stairs.

“You want to go somewhere specific?” Bård asked. Vegard just shrugged, looking nervous all of a sudden. Bård directed them towards a nearby park, thinking the small patch of nature in the city would be soothing. They made it to the park without incident. When they entered the greenery, Bård found them a bench to sit on. Vegard's leg had finally fully healed and allowed him to move unrestricted, but he was definitely looking a bit worse for wear. They sat down and almost immediately Vegard started coughing. Bård cursed silently. He had thought they would be done with the endless coughing fits that had accompanied Vegard's bout with pneumonia, but apparently the exertion had aggravated it again. Bård could only clumsily pat Vegard on the back while he leaned forwards and tried to get his breathing under control. The fit passed, but Vegard seemed so exhausted from it that they spent a long while sitting.

Bård was looking at the people passing by. There were several people jogging in bright sports gear. There were also quite a few young women with prams. Bård was reminded that it was a Tuesday and he felt a bit bad for doing absolutely nothing useful. They had been in contact with the film crew and TV station representatives, but they all had been infuriatingly supportive and told the boys to take long enough to recover properly. Bård glanced at Vegard. His brother certainly needed more time to get back on his feet, but there was nothing wrong with Bård. He really should contact the editor or something and ask if he could help. Maybe working would be good, he would have something new to focus on.

Bård let his eyes rest on the trees in front of him. The park truly was exceptionally beautiful. It was late autumn so the trees were bare and someone else might have found it ugly, but somehow Bård felt like the skeletons of the trees fit his current mood. He wasn't really focusing on anything specific, but then something drew his attention. He sat up straighter and looked directly at it. There had been movement behind a thick bush growing at the foot of a tree. Bård held his gaze on it. There was someone there, he was sure of it. The bush rustled and for a moment of utter horror, Bård saw Anders step out from behind the twigs. Bård would recognise the man anywhere: the bald head, strong, tall build and the dead blue eyes. Bård only distantly realised he was panting for breath and Vegard was asking him what was wrong.

“It's... it's...” was all Bård managed, his breath coming in short gasps.

“What is it?” Vegard sounded truly anxious. Bård kept staring at the man emerging from the bush. He had to run, he had to get away, he couldn't face him again!

“Bård!” Vegard shouted and Bård tried very hard to tell his brother to run, it was Anders, but he couldn't say anything at all. And then, just as Bård felt his vision start going grey, he realised it was not Anders. It was a bald man, but this one was shorter, heavier and his face was completely different. It was just some random man, walking a dog that had gone to do its business behind the bush. Bård felt relief flood him and this time his vision blacked out completely. Bård was not aware that he sagged against Vegard, his head hitting his brother's shoulder. He didn't feel Vegard awkwardly trying to rouse him and patting his cheek.

*****

It was only a couple of minutes later when Bård blinked his eyes slowly open. What the hell had happened?

“Bård?”

“Unh?”

“Bård, are you alright?”

“Yeah, fine. What happened?”

“I uhh... I think you had a panic attack.”

That caught Bård's attention. He looked at Vegard's worried face and felt his cheeks flush. He did not just have a panic attack. Those were something hysterical women in bad period films had. There was nothing wrong with him. So he had seen a man that vaguely resembled the sick bastard that had tortured his brother. There was no need to over-react because of something so stupid.

“We should go home,” Vegard said quietly. Bård nodded. He climbed to his feet and felt very shaky and weak. To his eternal shame, he had to lean a bit on Vegard. They made their way back to Bård's apartment, not saying a single word during the walk.

By the time Bård fumbled the door open with his shaking hands, Vegard had gone grey and Bård wanted nothing more than to be horizontal. Once they got in, he grabbed Vegard's arm and directed him to the bedroom. He sat Vegard down on the bed and bent to remove his shoes. When he was done, Vegard just plopped down and was out before his head even hit the pillow. Bård lifted his legs on the bed. As Bård stood up straight, he felt dizzy. He decided the sofa was too far away and simply rolled Vegard over to make room for himself and laid down next to his brother. The bed was meant for only one person, but it was wide enough for them both.

Bård was dead to the world for six hours straight. When he woke up, he was utterly confused for a moment. It was dark and half of him was cold. His back was exposed to the night air, but his front was pressed against something very warm. Bård felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. He was basically spooning his brother. It took Bård roughly one second to jump out of bed. He looked around for a while, a bit unsure of himself. He ran his hands through his hair and shivered a bit. He opened his closet and took out a spare blanket. He covered Vegard with it, noting that his brother was completely out of it even with Bård moving around him.

Bård stepped into the living room and turned on the lights. He had just slept in the dark. Six hours with no light. It was very early in the morning and Bård considered going back to sleep for a while. He tried turning the lights off again and crawling under his blanket on the couch. It didn't work though. Bård managed to lay awake for only a short while and then he had to go turn the lights back on again. He was confused. When he had woken up next to Vegard, he had barely registered the dark, but here, alone, he felt like there was nothing but the dark, it engulfed everything and suffocated him.

Bård abandoned his attempts at sleep. He went to take a shower. When he was standing under the warm spray, he thought about what had happened earlier. He knew the police had never found Anders. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he had ever told that to Vegard. Either way, his brother didn't need to be burdened with that information. Bård shampooed his hair and wondered if it was likely at all that Anders would make his way to Bergen. Bård decided it was not something that would actually happen. The fear had been very real though. Bård was filled with shame when he thought about his reaction. All rational thought had fled him and he had been unable to function. What if it had truly been Anders? Would they both be dead now since Bård was such an utter failure as a human being? Bård turned the tap into cold and hissed as the freezing spray hit his skin.

*****

When Bård stepped out of the shower, he found the bedroom door open and the bed empty. He went to put some clothes on and moved into the kitchen. His surprise was great when he noticed that Vegard was making scrambled eggs. Enough for two.

“Morning. Did I wake you?” Bård asked, drying his hair. Vegard shook his head and appeared to concentrate on stirring the eggs. Bård was a bit unsure about the situation. Should he comment? Should he just sit down and wait? He ended up taking a glass out of the cupboard and downing some water. He took one out for Vegard as well but hesitated with the plates. In the end, he decided to pretend he was lazy and just sat down, letting Vegard finish his cooking and set the table himself.

After he was done with the cooking, Vegard set down two plates and slowly ate a tiny portion of the eggs. Bård kept any conversation he made well away from anything food-related and yammered on about some curious news article he had read about the city's plans for putting traffic lights near a corner he passed often. He could tell Vegard was paying very little attention, but that somehow only made Bård blabber more.

After they had eaten, they moved to the sofa and opened the TV. Bård found a channel that was showing some animal program and kept stealing glances at Vegard. He was sitting with his knees up and hugging his abdomen with both arms. As the morning progressed, Bård noticed Vegard get paler, shakier and sweatier, until eventually he dashed to the toilet and Bård heard him be sick. Bård cursed silently. Was this really Anders, haunting them still?

Vegard emerged from the bathroom some time later, looking miserable. He muttered that he would lie down for a bit and Bård heard the bedroom door close. Seeing Vegard like that made Bård's insides twist and for a moment he thought he might be sick as well. The feeling passed, but Bård was torn with worry. He considered calling their mother, but somehow that seemed like a cowardly thing to do. He knew their parents lived only a short drive away, but he just couldn't bring himself to even consider visiting. Bård buried his face in his hands and let his head rest there for a bit. Had Anders been in the room at that moment, Bård would've happily murdered the man. Only, that was not true. Bård would be a crying heap on the floor, panicking like a child while the man did whatever the hell he wanted to them.

Despair seemed to crush Bård like a physical force. There was just no way out. Nothing he could do. And it was his fault. All of it. Everything. Bård felt a lump in his throat. And now he was going to cry. He fought against it, but then he just gave up. Things would never get better and it was just so futile to even keep trying. The tears came unchecked. Bård tried to control it, but he was sobbing out loud and wailing and there were bodily fluids all over his face and Bård just didn't care. He had failed at everything that had ever mattered. He had no right for anything. And then he felt arms around him.

“I'm sorry, Bård,” Vegard whispered, his voice hoarse. “I'm sorry I don't know how to help you.” Vegard was also crying, squeezing his little brother as hard as he could.

“What the hell? Why would you need to help me? There's nothing wrong with me!” Bård forced out through his sobbing.

“We were both there,” Vegard said, something he had said before and Bård hadn't understood. He still didn't.

“Do you honestly think you suffered any less than I did?” Vegard asked and Bård almost stopped breathing.

“He tortured us both. His sick game was two-fold: I got the physical, but you got the psychological part.” Vegard paused for a moment. And then he said something that penetrated deep into Bård's mind, clearing out everything else.

“It wasn't your fault.”

*****

Bård didn't know how long he cried in his brother's arms. When he lifted his head off Vegard's shoulder, he noticed that it was wet with his tears and snot. Vegard didn't seem to mind. He only looked at Bård with those giant brown eyes, so full of caring and love that Bård had to look away. He shifted his weight a bit, but kept his arms tight around Vegard's middle. He could feel all of his brother's ribs much more clearly than he wanted to.

Thoughts were whirring around in Bård's head, spinning furiously. Just the thought that what had happened to Vegard, what had happened to both of them, wasn't Bård's fault at all made him shiver. Intellectually, he knew Anders was the sick bastard behind all of it, but to feel something was entirely different. Could he trust it? Could he let go of the guilt? Bård thought that with time, he might. He thought that maybe one day, he could look at Vegard and not feel a stab of guilt. It wasn't easy when the marks of their suffering were so clear on his body. Vegard had permanent scars from each double knife-wound the man had inflicted all around his body and a huge one on his left thigh. Those were all hidden beneath his clothes, but the tops of the cross-shaped scar on Vegard's chest sometimes showed from under his shirt. Bård didn't have a single mark anywhere on his body. Maybe it would be easier if he did.

“Let go!” Vegard suddenly said with great urgency. Bård immediately obeyed, but they had been sitting in an awkward position for a long time and both were somewhat numb. Vegard made it to his feet and took two steps towards the bathroom, but then he fell on his knees and vomited on the floor. Bård's first reaction was to shout in disgust, but then he – quite against his will – took a look at the mess on the floor.

“Fuck! Vegard, that's blood!”

Vegard looked at Bård, face alarmingly pale. He only nodded and then fully collapsed on the floor. Bård cursed and shot to his feet to turn Vegard so that his face wasn't lying in a pool of his own vomit. Or blood.

Bård's heart was hammering like crazy in his chest. His breath started coming faster and faster and he feared he would join his brother on the floor. But then something took over Bård's mind. A calm descended and Bård knew exactly what to do. He took deep breaths and dug out his phone. He called an ambulance, gave them directions to his place and then sat down on the floor next to Vegard. He pulled a blanket from the sofa and covered his brother with it. Vegard was breathing steadily and only appeared to be sleeping. Bård put his hand against Vegard's back and kept it there, feeling his ribs expand and contract with each breath until the doorbell rang. Bård got up and led the paramedics to the living room.

*****

Afterwards, Bård didn't remember anything from the drive to the hospital or arriving there. He only became aware when their parents got in and he was held by their mother for a long time. After that, there was a long wait. He knew they talked about something, but he couldn't remember any of it.

Bård clung to what Vegard had said to him. It became a mantra in his head. Not your fault. Not your fault. But this was Bård's fault. There was no way around it. He should've realised something was badly wrong with Vegard. But somehow, utterly perversely, it also helped Bård. This was his fault. No doubt about it. But what Anders had done... that wasn't. It was as if a very thick cloud had finally sailed past the sun and Bård could see clearly. There were events he could influence. And there were events he could not. Forcing his brother to go get checked out in a hospital, even against his will, that was something Bård could've and should've done. Being tortured by a madman and made to choose who he would cut and who he would lead to believe to be guilty about it, that was something Bård could do nothing about. Bård felt a curious mixture of relief and guilt.

It was several hours and several cups of coffee later that the family finally heard something about Vegard. What they told them had Bård fume with rage. A peptic ulcer. Gone completely unnoticed and untreated by the people who had originally released Vegard from the small town hospital. Gone completely unnoticed by Bård. And that filled Bård with shame. He should've known his brother wouldn't just refuse to eat without a reason. He should've seen the symptoms. But even Bård had thought Vegard's behaviour had a mental rather than a physical reason. Bård really should've seen it, even when Vegard said nothing. Bård only realised he was squeezing his hands into tight fists when their mother started gently stroking the back of his hand. Bård opened it and let his mother take it.

“He'll be fine,” their mother said. For the first time in almost three months, Bård believed it. He felt like he had reached some sort of a turning point. It was one simple phrase from Vegard, but somehow it had lodged something loose in Bård's brain. It wasn't his fault. They would make it. He didn't know how, but they were in it together. They would heal.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The end. I want to thank every single person who has read, given kudos and commented. It still absolutely boggles my mind that people can find some measure of enjoyment in what I write.
> 
> I truly cannot thank you enough.
> 
> *humble bow*

Bård usually hated Christmas. Bright lights, unbearable music, lots of people and decorations everywhere. Naturally, Vegard loved it all. He really was an embarrassment for the whole family, decorating his apartment with a cheesy plastic tree at the end of November and filling each available surface with hideous ceramic elves and reindeer and pigs. Bård usually mocked his brother mercilessly for his enthusiasm. But this year was different. This year, Bård had knocked on Vegard's door on November the 29th and he had put all those decorations up himself while Vegard sat on the sofa under a blanket and told Bård which hideous thing went where, all the while sipping hot cocoa. Bård had bought Vegard some new ones, even more ghastly than the old ones. And his brother had been so pathetically happy that Bård had felt uncomfortable.

Bård was behind Vegard's door again. They were on their way to their parents' for the traditional family Christmas meal. Bård rang the doorbell and waited. He knew from experience that if Vegard didn't immediately open, he was probably napping. Bård rang again, waiting patiently. Eventually, Vegard opened, looking like he had just woken up. He was wearing a rumpled white t-shirt, his hair was standing in every direction and he was rubbing his eyes like a child.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah, just give me a sec.”

Vegard disappeared into his bedroom and Bård waited by the door. He looked around the apartment. Vegard's place was slightly smaller than Bård's, but it was still spacious enough. Bård couldn't see a single speck of dust anywhere. That made him very pleased. When Vegard had first returned to his own home, after spending a couple of weeks more at Bård's apartment after being released from the hospital, he had done hardly any housework at all. Bård had visited almost every day, bringing groceries and doing all the cleaning. And Bård hated cleaning. But that was another sign that Vegard was finally getting back on his feet. His second stay at a hospital had been blessedly shorter than the first one, but Vegard had been weak as a kitten when he was released. He was doing so much better now and Bård felt almost proud. Somehow, watching Vegard get better was helping Bård get better as well.

Bård smiled bitterly. He had had to learn the hard way that he had not been okay himself. But after he gave himself permission to realise it, the healing process seemed to have properly started. Bård didn't understand any of it, but he knew that things were getting better for them. They had finally sought professional help as well and after a rather awkward start, Bård couldn't understand why he had resisted so long. Talking with someone who he had no personal relationship with and to whom he could thus pour his heart out really helped and Bård was getting better. They both had still a long way to go though: Bård couldn't sleep without the lights on and Vegard was prone to having a complete meltdown if a stranger touched him without warning. But they were both working on things. They sometimes even had real conversations that left both with cheeks burning red from embarrassment, but which truly helped them. Neither really wanted to talk, but as awkward as they were, they did manage small, meaningful moments.

“We're truly pathetic,” Bård said, mostly to himself.

“That we are,” Vegard said and grinned. Bård looked at his brother and felt the urge to cover his face with his palm. Vegard was wearing the most hideous green Christmas jumper he had ever seen, complete with glitter. But Bård said nothing. Sometimes he felt that Vegard was baiting him, trying to get him to snap at him, but Bård couldn't. As much as he understood that he wasn't guilty of anything really, the feeling still lingered with him. Maybe it would never fully go away.

“Do you mind?” Vegard said and pointed at a bag on the floor, clearly embarrassed. Bård just took it without a word. Vegard was doing a lot better, but he was still too thin and his stamina was non-existent. Bård didn't mind. He had continued running every day, making longer and longer trips. He had also started going to the gym to do some power training. He would never be helpless again. He had even considered enrolling in a self-defence class but had decided it was taking things a bit too far. Or maybe not, after all, Anders was still somewhere out there.

“Mom said there will be plum pudding,” Bård said as they rode the elevator down. He tried to sound casual about it, but he was looking at his brother very closely. Vegard seemed to have been deep in his thoughts, but Bård's words made a broad smile lighten his face.

“I love plum pudding.”

Yes, they would be alright.

 

**The End.**


End file.
